The Other End of the Spectrum

There are some movies I just can’t stand. Usually I write about movies I love/like, but I thought that for once I would do something different, so I’m going to list ten movies I don’t particularly want to see again. (I won’t include anything I’ve already blogged about, so no mention here of The Artist, The Tree of Life or Ruby Sparks.)

The Mirror (1975, dir. Andrei Tarkovsky). This is probably my least favorite movie of all time. I can’t think of a movie I hated more upon seeing it. I don’t care how nice the cinematography might look in still photos; it’s a pointless movie. Seeing it at Lincoln Center literally gave me a migraine (also accomplished by The Tree of Life).

Sixteen Candles (1984, dir. John Hughes). It pained me to include this one because I usually love John Hughes (Ferris Bueller forever!), but this movie is just plain ridiculous. All the racism and talk of date rape are too much. I know that the ending is supposed to be so sweet and perfect, but how can you ignore the rest of the film?

Cadillac Man (1990, dir. Roger Donaldson). I don’t know why no one else I know has ever heard of this film, but it exists. And it is terrible. Why, Robin Williams?! Why, Tim Robbins?!

Arizona Dream (1991, dir. Emir Kusturica). There are some redeeming aspects of the film, chiefly Lili Taylor, Faye Dunaway and Vincent Gallo. Otherwise, it’s probably Johnny Depp’s worst film. Not even Jerry Lewis playing his uncle can save it. For whatever reason, it’s a cult favorite.

Igby Goes Down (2002, dir. Burr Steers). So many people think it’s genius, including people I went to high school with. They all must have seen something I didn’t. (And it means a lot for me to hate any movie with Jeff Goldblum in it.)

I Heart Huckabees (2004, dir. David O. Russell). I get what it was trying to do, but I hated it anyway. Not even Mark Wahlberg in one of his better performances could save it.

Brick (2005, dir. Rian Johnson). I found it immensely difficult to care about any of the characters. Film noir doesn’t work when it’s in color (sorry, L.A. Confidential) and set in high school.

Children of Men (2006, dir.  Alfonso Cuarón). I had to watch this for a film class two years ago. I got into an argument with my teacher because it’s apparently his favorite film… whatever. Clive Owen could easily be replaced by a block of wood with a face drawn on and you’d never know the difference.

Across the Universe (2007, dir. Julie Taymor). It wasn’t Jim Sturgess’s fault, I’ll say that much. It’s just an abominable experience butchering the Beatles’ music.

Hairspray (2007, dir. Adam Shankman). I can’t remember cringing more during any moviegoing experience. I hope that one day I can watch the John Waters film so that I can wash the remake’s taste out of my mouth.

Are there any movies you hate but other people love?


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